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<title>i was born on this coast (high water took my cradle) by sammyspreadyourwings</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078694">i was born on this coast (high water took my cradle)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammyspreadyourwings/pseuds/sammyspreadyourwings'>sammyspreadyourwings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Anxiety, Drabble, Gen, Late at Night, Metaphors, References to Depression, Sad Brian May, Stream of Consciousness, Suicidal Thoughts, Swimming</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:00:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,061</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078694</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammyspreadyourwings/pseuds/sammyspreadyourwings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian muses about the universe and life while swimming late at night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i was born on this coast (high water took my cradle)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>:peace_sign: I'm in a mood y'all</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Brian lets the cool water wrap around him as he glides through it silently. If there is one thing that he can hold onto is that he is the best swimmer in the band – for however long he is part of the band. He wishes he were more athletic or could commit to a life of athleticism – becoming a professional athlete had been a fancy of his when he first learned the wonders of the water.</p>
<p>But no, music has sung her siren call and he will always wonder at the mysteries of the stars.</p>
<p>He dives under and flips around kicking off the wall.</p>
<p>The pool is empty save for him and the moonlight. It had been a misuse of his fame and perhaps unfair to string the desk worker on like that – but he had been able to get into the pool after hours. Right now he can feel like the only one alive. The windows are large enough he can see the sky.</p>
<p>He completes another turn. This time he makes a splash as he surfaces – shattering the silence and alerting him to his fatigue.</p>
<p>It had been a long time since he was able to just swim for hours on end. Most of the time he can spare an hour or two before it’s the next show, the next interview, the next album. The Next, the next the next, thenextthenext <em>thenextthenextthenext.</em></p>
<p>He can’t fucking breathe.</p>
<p>He misses the tun and his fingers collide with the wall. His arm easily bending under the pressure. He hits his chest against the stone, and his arm automatically grips the ledge. His toes scrape against the tough stone.</p>
<p>Brian shakes his head, clearing it of the obligations he’ll have to return into the morning. Too soon because the moon is heading to hide below the horizon. For a moment he contemplates orbits and revolutions.</p>
<p>He is a lost planetary orbit. He rotates slowly, spending many years in the darkness for only a long period of the sun. He can remember what the sun feels like and then feels the ever encroaching a long night. His orbit must be elliptical too. Roger and Freddie are a binary star system, they’re both so bright on their own but they can’t help but spin around each other at millions of miles. They’re locked into a state of equilibrium. John orbits them, the goldilocks zone as he creates an infinite loop around both of them. He has his moments where he and Roger are partnered and then the same with Freddie, but every once and a while the three forms a perfect balance as John crosses back over to the other.</p>
<p>And Brian? He orbits the three of them. But he only circles them, he can’t weave his way through their gravity. He is an accidental capture, and eventually, he’ll collide and burn up or be flung from his orbit.</p>
<p>Brian blinks up at the ceiling. He is floating on his back, and he doesn’t remember changing position, but he sees that the hotel has a skylight and he can stare into the darkness. The void pulls him in and he wonders how many wanderer’s souls are staring at that same spot with him.</p>
<p>He wonders how many have spun out of control trying to find her secrets. A man goes mad trying to prove something that he could not hold.</p>
<p>His body grows heavier and he finds himself having to tread water. There are tiny aches in his muscles telling him that he had been doing laps for longer than he imagined and that he should get to bed if he wants to somehow manage to look put together in the interview. Freddie will cover for him – but he shouldn’t have to.</p>
<p>Brian slowly stops kicking his legs, using his arms to keep himself afloat. He cranes his head back looking at the night sky. It keeps her secrets out of his reach, almost beckoning him to come back. Quitting music seems impossible now. He loves the tours and the interviews and the albums, but he is tired of being pulled every way.</p>
<p>He must be orbiting both too close and he’s starting to break up.</p>
<p>Brian stops moving his arms feeling himself start to naturally fall backward. He shakes out the exhaustion before diving towards the bottom of the pool. He crawls along the bottom, chlorine stinging his eyes. A few bubbles escape his mouth and carefully he positions himself into a dead man’s float before closing his eyes.</p>
<p>The slow climb to the surface feels even slower. He tries to focus on the water pressing around him – imagining that it’s slowly cushioning him and pushing him off the surface. Encouraging him that it’s not yet.</p>
<p>He feels like he is flying. Slowly. Maybe he’s falling. Its terminal velocity. He can no longer fall any faster and the air is pushing at him to balance it.</p>
<p>His back breeches the surface first. Brian keeps his head under the water until his lungs scream and he is forced to move so that he can inhale air.</p>
<p>He waits past that moment.</p>
<p>His lungs are pressing against his ribs. They want fresh air. He can feel blood thrumming through his veins. In his head and his heart.</p>
<p>What would the point of dying here be?</p>
<p>Brian starts to tread water again. Gasping and his lungs taking in the air they were denied. He already misses the aimless floating towards the surface. He misses the lack of restrictions and being dictated where to go. It was only physics that moved him.</p>
<p>An object in motion stays in motion.</p>
<p>Brian will always be hurting in space at millions of miles and gravity is always going to try to keep pulling him apart. He knows this. What happens in space rarely happens in a second, only when all criteria have been met does the moment occur. A supernova explodes – but it takes years for that start to reach that critical mass.</p>
<p>Years are unhelpful when dealing with space. 80 years to the universe is nothing – but on Earth it is everything. The universe has given him barely a millisecond of his time. What good would it be to waste it when he has only managed to experience half of it.</p>
<p>There is no need to rush the inevitable.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, leave your thoughts and comments below or come talk to me on Tumblr.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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